Last Sunday, my pastor talked about the dangers of concealing sin and discussed David’s life as the perfect example of how life can turn out when you try to hide your sin instead of confessing it. It was such a great sermon on making sure that we understand that God is waiting for us to confess our sins and help restore us into the relationship with him that we need.
However, God had another message for me on Sunday. While I needed that lesson also. He knew that for me, it wasn’t just about concealment of sin; it was also about how dangerous it was to conceal your grief and pain. You see, I have experienced this for way too long. When my marriage fell apart, I was ashamed, hurt, and scared to reach out for help. I thought people would judge me, and I didn’t want to risk my heart being broken anymore. So instead, I buried my emotions inside of me and held my pain inside. Just like sin festers and causes problems, so does pain if it isn’t taken care of. I thought I had to be strong; I had to find a way to get past the tears and hurt. So I reverted back to a trick I learned a long time ago. I got angry at myself for being weak, and through that anger, I pressed forward and said I was okay. God was going to see me through this; I just had to trust him. While, yes, He will see you through your hurt, and you will have to trust Him with the broken pieces of your heart, he doesn’t want or expect you to conceal your pain and stop the tears of sadness, anger, and frustration. God states very clearly that “there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4). I think God added this verse for us to understand that we will experience all kinds of emotions in this life.
In fact, several verses in the Bible tell us exactly what to do at times like this.
“Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. “Matthew 11:28
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.” Psalm 46:1-2
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
“For His anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” Psalm 55:22
None of these verses say conceal and heal your pain by yourself. They all tell us to lay them down at the feet of our Father, the one who can truly heal our hearts and help us move forward.
I will be honest; there were times that I said, “Lord, I know that you are God, and you will never leave me, but I need a human to talk to.” That is where it got hard for me; I so desperately needed that conversation but didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems, or worse, be judged. I beg you not to fall into that trap. Please reach out to someone around you. Your friends and family are there to help, and if you don’t feel like you can reach out to them, find someone, a Christian counselor or a pastor. God doesn’t want you to go through this by yourself. We are called by God to help each other, “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” (Romans 12:13).
God’s love and provision are there for you every step of the way. I will not lie; it hurts to deal with the pain; the tears sometimes felt like they weren’t going to stop. However, I learned to trust God with each part of my hurt, and as I gave more of my pain to him, he would take it from me, and in return, I felt more and more peace. My heart still grieves to this day, but the pain isn’t unbearable anymore. God saw me through it, and he is waiting to see you through it also. A couple of Sundays ago, my pastor’s words spoke directly to my heart about a final step I needed to take. I knew it was God talking to me. These were his words.
It is impossible to take hold of what God has for you when you are still holding on to what God has taken from you. Sometimes you have to let that dream die, so you can grieve, heal and move forward to what God has next. ~ Matt Smith
We can’t conceal our pain and move forward, friends. We need to heal, and that means it is okay to grieve. Trust God with your heart and step into your future.
4 thoughts on “A Time to Weep”
Oh, sweet sister! So thankful you’re working through the grief and pain now. I’m studying Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forgive about when she found out her husband had cheated on her and was addicted to substances. She says that she had to learn not to “hyperspirtualize” the situation by saying things like, “God’s got this” or “I’m just going to trust God” but not dealing with the feelings. I highly recommend it.
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Thank you for the recommendation, I am reading it also. It has been such a good source of comfort for my soul. That chapter along with the message on Sunday is what led to this post. I want to help others see that God loves us and He doesn’t want us to hide our pain. We can and need to turn to Him for our strength through the healing process. Thank you for reading my blog. God has used this blog to help me heal. It is my hope that by me sharing God will use it to help comfort others.
Thank you for your transparency and encouragement, friend. You’ve walked a difficult path but I see a beautiful see ministry springing up from that valley. May God bless you and keep you close in His gracious care.
Thank you. It is my desire to continue to share to help others see God’s grace and love.